November 2009
12 posts
“your dog peed on my back. he’s doing it again.”
– lady at dog park
two girls, running lines with a wall between them.
“COME HERE!” - girl 1 in living room
“I CAN’T, I’M IN MY BED. I NEED YOU TO COME HERE!” girl 2 in bedroom
“NO! A WALL BETWEEN US - READ YOUR SIDES IN MORSE CODE VIA WALL.” - girl 1 in living room
“OK FINE!” - girl 2 in bedroom
.
._.
…___…
“I CAN FEEL YOUR KNOCK WITH MY KNOCK.” - girl 1 in living room
<3...
three girls, leaving new moon.
“i love edward!” - girl 1
“no no, i love jacob!!” - girl 2
“i love charlie!” - girl 3
“i mean, he’s a really good dad.” - girl 3
a boy and a girl, in a cafe.
“I thought maybe we could just be friends.” - girl
“No, you knew I wanted to date you.” - boy
“Yeah, but even if we don’t date, we could still be friends. Don’t you enjoy my company?” - girl
“No.” - boy
two girls, in a bed on facebook chat with one...
“how’s it going?” - girl 1
“ok.”
“actually, kinda tough.” - girl 2
“why whats wrong?” -girl 1
“i can’t decide which show to watch.” -girl 2
roommates, discussing movie times.
“Well, lets see where they are showing the movie at midnight”
“Oh! They just opened up a nine pm viewing!”
“That doesn’t make any sense? How can they do that?”
“Sometimes they do that! We should go at nine.”
“I don’t really believe it.”
“Um ok. Whatever.”
“No, I mean, I guess if it exists we should buy...
two women, at a bar.
“Should we go in?” - woman 1
“Oh my god there he is!” -woman 2
“Ok should we go say hi?” - woman 1
“No, lets go sit in the car for a minute.” -woman 2
highschool forever.
a shopper and a sales associate, Ann Taylor Loft.
“Wow, Nancy, you look great!” - associate
“Thanks. God, I must have lost like forty five pounds since I saw you last.” -shopper
“Yes you did, and can I just say…congratulations! Amazing!” - associate
“Not that amazing. I lost the weight because I can’t eat anything because of the chemotherapy I’m getting for my cancer.” -shopper
...
two girls, on aim.
girl1: I can’t believe how dark it is this early! its so weird!
girl2: yeah!
girl2: it makes me hungry.
a very american man flirting with a woman from...
“Hey, how do you know whether words are feminine or masculine in Spanish? That always confused me.” - man
“You just learn them I think.” - woman
“Like tomatoes - how is that anything?” - man
“Its masculine.” - woman
“Oh great, I eat lots of tomatoes. Does that mean I’m gay?” - man
“Ah. No? Do you eat strawberries? ”...
“Once you’re a grown up, you’ll never have another snow day.”
– an improviser in the saddest scene
Two girls, at a costume party.
“Oh I know who you are!” -girl dressed as pirate
“Yeah?” - girl dressed as Marie Antoinette
“You are that girl, Antoinette…I don’t remember her last name” - pirate
“Um, that is her last name.” - Marie
October 2009
12 posts
An acting coach, at a comedy horror workshop.
“You need to really feel the horror, and however you need to summon that fear is up to you. You know, girls, it might be very real and very scary to imagine being tied up in front of a threatening man. Um, guys…are any of you afraid of spiders?”
Two girls, in a living room.
“He was there last night. So how’s that going?” - girl 1
“Um. It’s not really going.” - girl 2
“Vegan, really? I just don’t get it. I need meat to make it a meal.”
– a man who watched a lot of beef commercials
An idiot, a coworker, and me, at a restaurant.
“Are you two sisters? You sure do look an awful lot alike.” - idiot
“Haha, nope. We’re both named Meghan.” - me
“See! You must be related with the same name!” -idiot
A man who loves himself still and a server, at a...
“Would you like to try some cucumber with hummus topping?” -server
“Sure would, did you know I make my own hummus? It is tasty!” -man
“No, I didn’t know that.” -server
A man who loves himself and a server, at a...
“Would you like to try some buffalo mozzarella and tomato with fresh basil?” -server
“Sure would. Did you know I grow my own basil? That’s right, make it myself.” -man
“No, I didn’t know that.” -server
Two roommates and an 8 year old, a catering gig.
“Oh no! I dropped it!” - the 8 year old
“Its ok. Don’t worry, sweetie. I’m glad it was you and not me! Cause you’re 8 and I’m…22” - roommate 1
“No you’re not!” - roommate 2
“Oh God, I just lied about my age to and 8 year old. ” - roommate 1
An Austrian and a German, at a coffeeshop.
“I’m very fast. Did you see how fast I got this all together?” - Austrian
“Yep.” - German
“I work very hard, I’m always working. I need a day off.” - Austrian
“Not too hard, you’re always here.” - German
“It’s because I work so fast! Then I can be here! I work so hard and so fast.” - Austrian
A girl and a casting director, in a bathroom.
“Hi!” -girl
“Hey there.” - casting director
(pause)
“See you in there!” - casting director
“Yeah…this bathroom smells like Bath and BodyWorks.” - girl
“Yeah…” -casting director
A man who cares about marketing, in a doorframe of...
(yelling) “Thought I’d drop in and let you know there are some great smells coming from this place out on the street. Nice job!” - homeless man
A new couple on a date, at a restaurant.
“We’d like a large pizza. Half green pepper and olive…”-her
“Um, and half sausage…and…can I just do extra sausage?” - him
“Your half is a sausage fest.” - her
“Hm.” - him
Two nine year old girls, in a park.
“My therapist says I need to express my anger. AHHH. I hate the world! Don’t you?”
“Not today. I’m getting my ears pierced!